The cows in our field are always trying to escape. There are a couple of ringleaders who always set the others off. There are only eight cows. To have two ringleaders in a herd of eight is pretty unlucky.
Sometimes they’ll jump over the wall. Or they jump over the electric fence. Other times they jump over the hedge. I had no idea that cows could jump so high. Why do they want to escape? Have they seen some greener grass on the other side of the valley? It appears that the cows want to walk to Doolin by road. Or down the boreen. It’s possible that they are heading for Fanore up the coast road, to join up with other bovine renegades near Ballyvaughan.
When I see the cows escaping I usually text the farmer to tell him whats what. Thinking that nobody would notice, they tried to escape during the first half of the World Cup semi-final between France and Portugal. Luckily it was a very boring game and we were all staring out of the window. Once I sprinted down the field and just managed to head them off at the end of the lane before they could turn left at the crossroads and start walking towards Doolin, where they would clog up traffic and probably get drunk and sing maudlin cow ballads in McGanns.
Possibly one of the other farmers has hypnotised them or implanted a special electronic homing device in their necks.
The cows are brown or brown and white. When I asked what kind of cows they were, the farmer replied “Stupid fecking cows”.