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  • Writer's pictureTim Bradford

Computer

Plastic box with a screen, that buzzes at night. Has wires inside. You can type stuff into it. Sometimes it goes dead and you want to smash it to pieces.

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Stuff

Versatile concept that can refer to anything, from a 1970s football bubblegum card with a picture of Leeds United's Peter Lorimer on the front, to emotional issues or programming languages.

Pentax Optio S4 digital camera

Tiny sliver of camera hardware that's smaller than a fag packet. It's lovely, but the controls are hard to operate if you've got farmer's finger (like my wife and I).

Football

Two teams of eleven players* each try to kick a ball into their opponents’ goal over two forty five minute periods. * Hard drinking slapheads who love drinking, gambling and snooker.

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