What’s best? The Irish long handled shovel or the English short handled spade? The short handled spade also has a hand grip at the end and it has a flat cutting blade. The Irish shovel is curved for lifiting things and for scraping the surface off things – like custard skin, or an over active Guinness head.
I did an experiment. I took six old coal bags and filled them with sand, using first the English short handled spade and then the Irish long handled shovel. The Irish shovel was far easier to use and from now on, whenever I have to put sand into old coal bags, I will use the Irish long handled shove – it has more power and puts less strain on the lower back.
While conducting this experiment (which was part of the initial research for my ongoing art installation project called Laying A Patio Before The Barbecue Season Ends) I invented a new device which will shave hours of off the normal working day of your typical sand moving worker. It’s a piece of plastic hose bent round and joined together by putting a thick pencil* in each end. A metre long piece of wood keeps the old coal bag upright while the hose device keeps the bag open. I must have saved at least four minutes per bag. That’s 24 minutes. If I saved 24 minutes a day, in a year I cold write a novel about a bloke who invents a device to help him put sand into old coal bags.
I love time saving devices like this. I will probably show it to my mate who works for the Patent Office in the UK. Though she’ll have to sign a confidentiality agreement first.
* Like the ones they used to give away on Crackerjack.